White people

One of the funniest blogs I have read in a long time is called “Stuff White People Like“. Politically incorrect in every way imaginable (which is why I love it) and sometimes the discussions at the end of the posts are funnier than the actual article. What kinds of things are white people into?

Outdoor performance clothes:
“When white people aren’t working, they generally like to wear Outdoor Performance Clothes. The top suppliers of these garments and accessories include North Face, REI, Mountain Equipment Co-Op, Columbia Sportswear, and Patagonia.
(..)
“The main reason why white people like these clothes is that it allows them to believe that at any moment they could find themselves with a Thule rack on top of their car headed to a national park. It could be 4:00 p.m. on a Saturday when they might get a call “hey man, you know what we need to do? Kayak then camping, right now. I’m on my way to get you, there is no time to change clothes.””

Bad Memories of High School:
“Virtually every white person you meet was a nerd in a high school-it it is how they were able to get into a good arts program and law school. As such, their memories of high school are painful, but not tragic since they were able to eventually find success in the real world. Exploiting this information is your one way to ticket into the heart of a white person.
(..)
“If you cannot properly gauge the type of music a white person liked in high school, you should always say that you were really into The Cure. All white people know that liking The Cure in high school is an invitation to be tortured by the cool kids. This will bring about instant sympathy and respect.”

Hating Corporations:
“White people love nothing more than explaining to you how Wal*Mart, McDonalds, Microsoft, Halliburton are destroying the Earth’s culture and resources.
(…)
“When engaging in a conversation about corporate evils it is important to NEVER, EVER mention Apple Computers, Target or Ikea in the same breath as the companies mentioned earlier. White people prefer to hate corporations that don’t make stuff they like.”

Having gay friends:
“If white people could draft friends the way that the NFL drafts prospects it would go like this: black friends, gay friends, and then all other minorities would be drafted based on need and rarity to the region.
(…)
It is generally accepted that a gay black friend with a child is considered a once in a lifetime opportunity – like a quarterback who can pass, run, kick, and play linebacker. White people will crawl over each other for the opportunity to claim this person as a friend and add them to their roster of diversity.”

Modern Furniture:
“In situations where you need to improve your connection with a white person, just mention how you hope to be successful enough to one day afford an original piece of furniture by [insert obscurely named architect]. If they have heard of the designer they will nod in agreement, if they have not, they will also nod in agreement and make a note to look it up later.”

Apologies:
“White people know that their ancestors did some messed up things. As a result, it has become hard wired for them to apologize for almost anything.”! Hahaha.

So I won’t be apologizing for the fact that I never realized how white I was til I read that list!